Focus on the road, not the wall.

 

A well-known opinion in behavioral training is to praise the positive behavior rather than to focus on the negative. But in daily live it is so easy to focus on the errors that have been made. Blaming is far more easy than to thoroughly investigate why something was forgotten or why a certain task wasn’t performed. And let's be honest, that 'someone' is in most of the cases nor ‘me’ or ‘you’  but all the others ...

But take a minute to honestly look into your heart. Start by asking yourself: ‘Did I clearly express the expected behavior with all the stakeholders involved and did I took enough time to discuss this in sufficient depth?

Many managers assume too quickly that they are understood.

A few simple rules:

·         Tell in a simple and clear way what kind of behavior you expect.

·         Ask the other person(s) to repeat what they understood from your explanation. You immediately see whether your listeners understood the message as you intended it. Maybe you find some insufficiencies in your own story, you can verify the accentuation and maybe during this conversation new ideas come to mind. In this case you will benefit the power of ideas created in dialogue. Truly engaged and involved people!

A possible way of working:

·         Use positive language. Our brain doesn’t register the word 'NOT'. Proof of the pudding. if I ask you NOT to think of a pink elephant … The pink giant pops he spontaneously in your head. The word NOT also calls upon resistant behavior. What make you feel more resistant: You can NOT sit here gives you another feeling than "this seat is reserved". Therefore avoid using the word ‘NOT'. Replace 'NOT' by behavior that you WANT to see.

So my advice is to provide 'feedforward' before 'feedback'. To prevent is better than to cure. A true leader will coach employees to better results. This builds confidence and a positive culture. People will start to tell positive stories and think about possibilities instead of working with fear and stress. Mutual attraction based on trust and professionalism rather than on hierarchy and control.

Be a confident driver and take the wheel when it comes to your personal development.